


That Drowns the Tender Reed

by smile_for_me



Series: the rose!verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel in Purgatory, Dean in Purgatory, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Purgatory Dean, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:54:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_for_me/pseuds/smile_for_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then, suddenly, his name was being called. And he knew that voice. He knew that impossibly deep voice like his own, he could pick it out in any crowd. <em>Cas</em> was calling his name and somehow Dean could hear it through the water rushing by his ear. Then there were hands on his shoulders pulling him up and everything would be okay because Cas was there. Cas would save him. He always did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Drowns the Tender Reed

**Author's Note:**

> This follows the canon!verse up until the end of season eight. Completely disregard seasons nine and ten while reading.

_Some say love, it is a river  
That drowns the tender reed_

 

 

Dean was back in Purgatory. Back feeling that horrible sinking feeling that Cas had deserted him, which was overpowered by the even worse thought that maybe be had let Cas down. He and Benny had finally figured out where Cas had to be. Monsters could reveal what you needed if you knew how to get them to talk. They were trooping through the neverending forest, making their way toward the sounds of the river they were looking for. 

Suddenly, Dean wasn’t there anymore. He was….somewhere. Across the river, or maybe in it. He was watching Cas. Cas was at the bank of the river, crouching down and washing his face. Dean watched as the other-him and Benny came down onto the bank and into the clearing. He watched as a smile spread across other-his face. He remembered what that felt like. To see Cas again, to know that he hadn’t let the angel down. He’d give anything to feel that again. 

He watched as Benny confronted Cas, as other-him argued, and as Cas admitted to running away. He watched as the other-him admitted to praying to him every night and listened to Cas admitting that he knew. That he had heard. He saw the betrayal on other-his face and felt it all over again. And then Cas told other-him about why he had done it. About how it was all to keep him safe. About how Cas would attract too many monsters. About how he had a price on his head and he didn’t want to put Dean in danger. 

Dean listened to other-him try to convince Cas to come with them. He watched as Benny explained about the door out of Purgatory. About how he didn’t know if an angel would make it through. The other-him cut him off, told him that they would take care of it, they would figure it out. Then other-him turned to Cas and admitted that he needed the angel. He remembered how that had felt to tell him. He needed Cas. He was his best friend and he needed him. He watched as a smile spread across other-his face as he told Cas that they could beat the Leviathans. They could beat anything that came at them. He remembered believing it, too, believing that they could do anything as long as it was the two of them. As long as they were together. 

He remembered what came next, and watched as it happened. As Cas said it was too dangerous. He felt the flood of emotions he had felt all over again. The pain of the thought that he wouldn’t be with Cas yet again, the betrayal that Cas would actually leave him, and the determination to get Cas to come with them. Then other-his voice firmly said that he wasn’t leaving, not without Cas, no matter what the angel said. He heard Cas reply, saying that he understood, and relived the relief he had felt. 

The scene in front of him dissolved into another. One he had relived time and time again since Cas opened his eyes. The doorway back to earth was open and glowing and making the wind whirl around them. Dean could see that the other-him was holding onto Cas’s wrist, trying to take him through the portal and telling him that they would make it. He watched as Cas pushed the other-him away and told him to go. 

Dean could remember the feeling of hurt, the feeling of betrayal. He remembered being angry, being so angry that he could barely see. How could Cas do this? After everything they had been through together? Not just what they had done in Purgatory, but what they had done back on earth. Cas had pulled him out of hell, of course they had been through enough to make Dean think that they would stick together. He remembered wanting to jump back out of the portal and convince Cas to go with him, or even just stay with him in purgatory if he needed to. 

But Dean watched. He watched as other-him slipped through the portal and the door to earth closed. He saw Cas standing there for just a second, watching the spot where Dean had been. 

Then the scene changed again. He was in his body now, and he was walking. he was trying to find his way back home, trying to find Sam. But something was wrong. His feet were too heavy. He was moving too slowly. He looked down and saw water rising up around him. He looked up again quickly, searching for the source. He found nothing, but the water rose higher. He splashed through, trying to find higher ground, trying to find _anything_. 

The water was rising too fast, soon it was up to his chest and still moving up steadily. He tried to swim, but he couldn’t. Which didn’t make any sense, he knew how to swim. He was a fine swimmer. Something was wrong. He was too heavy, he was sinking. He tried to swim upwards, tried to make it to the surface, tried not to think about breathing. The yells and shouts and screams escaping his lips were involuntary, and they were robbing him of what precious little air he had left. 

Then, suddenly, his name was being called. And he knew that voice. He knew that impossibly deep voice like his own, he could pick it out in any crowd. _Cas_ was calling his name and somehow Dean could hear it through the water rushing by his ear. Then there were hands on his shoulders pulling him up and everything would be okay because Cas was there. Cas would save him. He always did.

 

 

Dean’s eyes shot open and he took a gasping breath because _yes_. 

He could _breathe_. 

It took him a second to realize that someone was hovering over him. Someone was holding his shoulders a little too tightly. Someone with bright blue eyes and a clean-shaven face. _Cas_.

Once his breathing was a little more under control, Dean spoke. “What the hell, Cas?”

Cas frowned down at him, looking remarkably _angel_ despite his lack of grace. “You were having a nightmare. I thought you should be woken,” he said in that way of his. That resolute way he spoke that made it seem like Dean was the one doing something strange instead of Cas. 

Dean stared at him for a few more seconds before he was pushing Cas away and sitting up. He took a moment to look around, to make sure that he was in his room in the bunker. He was sitting up on the right side of his bed, and Cas was kneeling on the left side. Dean stared over at the ex-angel and found it hard to believe that he was the same person that had been through Purgatory with him, though he supposed it wasn’t. They had all changed, but he thought Cas was the only one unrecognizable. 

For one, his clothes. He was dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt, both of which had been Dean’s or Sam’s at some point. Dean assumed that the shirt was Sam’s because of how big it seemed on Cas’s lean form. He looked sleep-ruffled. His hair was sticking up in all directions, which was probably partly due to how long it was getting. There were creases on his cheek and arms from his pillows or blankets. However, despite how human he looked, there were still parts that were purely the angel he had known. The way his head tilted to the side when he was curious. The way his eyes seemed to pierce into your soul and draw things out of you that you never planned on saying. How he didn’t understand some jokes Dean made. The way he continued to disregard personal space (though that seemed only to be with Dean which was probably something he needed to look into, but decided not to). Those were the things that reminded Dean who Cas was, who he always was, and who he still was underneath. 

Dean sighed a little to himself and pushed himself up from the bed, moving toward the door. On the bed, Cas asked, “Dean?” and Dean looked back at him. 

“I’m fine, Cas, go back to bed,” he said before going out of the room. He froze a few steps out, hearing Cas’s steps behind him, and took a deep breath before saying, “Thanks.”

He was going down the hallway quickly after that, but he heard still Cas’s soft reply of, “You’re welcome, Dean,” and he couldn’t help but smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This series started out as me wanting to write stories based on a song by Bette Midler called "The Rose" which is where the title comes from, but it sort of exploded into this whole idea of a universe. Of the course, the idea isn't completely formed yet, so other stories will be added sporadically. The second addition to this series should be up soon as I've already started writing it.
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos if you enjoyed it! The next installment should be longer. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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